Category: Blog

So, after a couple months of not updating the site because I was busy with other shit and hadn’t even added links to the last couple Zamo podcasts, I decided to get all caught up today, only to find the site had been hacked in my negligent absence and...

Get home from my appointment with my personal trainer and as I pull up to back into my driveway I look over and see a electric scooter sitting on our lawn next to the front porch. Instantly my inner alarm is going off: whose goddamn scooter is this? Why...

“I know this isn’t Bikram, but I’m stripping down to my undies anyway”! “Hey baby, wanna do some heavy breathing and downward facing dog for two later at my place?” “Fuck you, I want the spot in the middle of the room!” “I like that this company donates 50...

10. The Rosie O’Donnell Stick a Hot Dog in Your Vag, Not Your Mouth Diet 9. Listen To One Direction Til You Puke Yourself Thin 8. The Morrissey Mope And Munch Vegetarian Diet 7. Janeane Garafalo’s Seething Off the Pounds Diet 6. Clint Eastwood’s Empty Plate Diet 5. Ted...

10.  Calorie-free donuts. 9. Humans should jump as easily as kangaroos to reach things on the top shelves. 8. Diamonds are supposed to be cheap, cleaning products are supposed to be expensive. 7. Pizza delivery never results in as much sex as the porno movies imply. 6. Boring jobs...

Everyone dreams of winning the lottery, right? Well, at least in my white trash family. Anyway, I thought up a few things I would do if I ever won the lottery: Buy a Lambourghini just because I always wanted one. It’ll have to sit in the front hallway of...

1. Is shutting the Burrard Street Bridge down for a yoga event this month a. a fabulous way to promote healthy green lifestyles b. a major inconvenience to drivers c. not enough, man: we need to blow the bridge up and then people could, like, kayak to work instead...

I would order my students to stay home and actually figure out how society works in the real world in their own city before letting them go off to far flung foreign places coming up with crackpot theories that support their fantasies but have no bearing on reality. Also,...

Dear La Vie en Rose, Re: your email titled “Fathers Day Gifts He’ll Love!” No, I am not giving my father anything from your store, as you only sell women’s lingerie and he’s not the type to call himself Caitlyn.  And even if he did, isn’t that gift idea...

We’re going to Vegas or the courthouse. No big weddings with relatives we never speak to otherwise. No poofy dresses, and frankly neither one of us should be wearing white. No gift registry – I aready have dishes and glasses and a toaster oven. Bring your own damn beer,...