If I won the lottery

Everyone dreams of winning the lottery, right?

Well, at least in my white trash family.

Anyway, I thought up a few things I would do if I ever won the lottery:

  • Buy a Lambourghini just because I always wanted one. It’ll have to sit in the front hallway of my giant new mansion, however, being that I tend to carry too much crap along with me and Lambos aren’t exactly known for roomy interiors.
  • Buy a couple cute guitar playing mail order husbands. Hopefully ones who don’t speak any English but do know how to play all of the good Guns N Roses songs (so… nothing from Chinese Democracy).
  • Install my very own Olympic sized swimming pool so I never need to navigate around retards clogging up the swim lanes. That said, I might let the mail order husbands in so long as they stay out of my way.
  • Install my very own donut and pizza shop in the basement so I don’t have to get stuck in traffic to get my fix.
  • Hire a new audio engineering grad to Trojan Horse himself into a couple of the local studios where producers I don’t like work. Once in, my minion’s job is to eat massive quantities of sauerkraut, garlic, and beans, then fart the joint up like chemical warfare revenge 24/7.