A few changes God needs to get working on

Posted On July 16, 2015

10.  Calorie-free donuts.

9. Humans should jump as easily as kangaroos to reach things on the top shelves.

8. Diamonds are supposed to be cheap, cleaning products are supposed to be expensive.

7. Pizza delivery never results in as much sex as the porno movies imply.

6. Boring jobs should pay less than fun jobs.

5. Scuzzy politicians need to get struck down by lightning more often.

4. Self-watering flowers.

3. Semen should have as many anti-aging effects as Botox.

2. Talking cats for lonely spinsters.

1. Giant sinkholes to swallow up Washington, DC and Ottawa.