Most Disturbing Things Overheard in Yoga Class
Posted On August 20, 2015
- “I know this isn’t Bikram, but I’m stripping down to my undies anyway”!
- “Hey baby, wanna do some heavy breathing and downward facing dog for two later at my place?”
- “Fuck you, I want the spot in the middle of the room!”
- “I like that this company donates 50 cents from every hundred dollar pair of yoga pants sold. It’s my way of helping the less fortunate.”
- “Tree pose selfie!”
- “Yeah, I left the kids out in the car. I mean, this is Bikram, it’s not that much hotter in the car than in here, they’re fine…”
- “Doing the cobra for 3 minutes can boost a man’s testosterone and sexual vitality up to 55%. Ladies, who wants to verify my snake’s virility?”
- “Yoga is my second favorite thing to do after dissecting fetuses.”
- “The best part of this agni sara ab crunching thing is that it helps you shit better.”
- “Welcome to beginner’s yoga! Alright, first let’s do a head stand and kick our legs over into plow, don’t worry if you feel any cracking in your neck, that’s normal for newbies. Soon enough you won’t feel anything!”