10 Surprising Facts About Nickelback

10. Their first big hit “How You Remind Me” was originally meant to be a fundraiser song for Alzheimer’s 9. They were originally called Quarterback, except too many people bugged Chad for fantasy football tips, so he changed it. 8. Frontman Chad Kroeger was briefly married to pop singer...

Hypothetical Naked & Afraid Appearance

If I were somehow conned into going on that show Naked & Afraid, my to-do list would include: Find some flake-able rock like obsidian. Find a bigger rock to bash it with. Smash them together to get razor flakes. Hold razor flakes against the throat of cameraman who follows...

Stupid writing exercise o’ the day: write your own eulogy

Gawd, I fucking hate writing exercises that have you write your own eulogy. Such a cliche, and in any case, isn’t it all so much blowing smoke up your own butt? Also, doesn’t it depend who’s supposedly writing the eulogy? “Write it as if it was your boss.” Which...

Sheer coincidence, I’m sure

The other day I got stuck behind a bus with one of those propaganda ads on its ass about how fiscally responsible Translink supposed is. Yeah, yeah, one of the least worst in the world… but that includes those Indian busses and trains where no one pays, they just...

Pretentious Names

Friend of mine was mentioning a 22 year old colleague of hers named Sterling. Jesus, the 90s were fucked up. Well, at least it’s not Madisyn. Apparently the chicks at this business networking thing she was at all gushed about how much they love his name. There’s something in...

Mistaken Association #1

Just drove by a place called Nirvana Organics. First thing to pop into my head: Kurt Cobain’s scowling mug. Second thing to pop into my head: “I wonder if they sell any free-range heroin.”...

Siri takes a memo #1

So lately I’ve been trying Siri for dictating comedy bits on my iPhone when I’m stuck in traffic. Not sure this is a good idea since Siri usually has no idea what I’m saying. This is one of the better examples: By the way if you ever see one...

New piece on Street Carnage

Silly little satirical blurb: Street Carnage: Stop Me Before I Rape Again And apparently I’m a fag. Here I thought the phrase “Mount Upyersnatch” was a dead giveaway that I am in fact a bitch instead, but meh, details....