Back to the drawing board…

Literally. So it’s been almost a year since I last updated here, which will look like like the first post because there’s years’ worth of content that I didn’t feel like digging through and locating and reposting images etc to make it all work again so they’re all drafts....

Forced fresh start

So, after a couple months of not updating the site because I was busy with other shit and hadn’t even added links to the last couple Zamo podcasts, I decided to get all caught up today, only to find the site had been hacked in my negligent absence and...

September 20, 2015

Mulling over the state of my so-called music career (don’t laugh… that’s not the joke). What to do about that last album that I slinked out to iTunes and Bandcamp but never really released properly? And what to do about the remaining songs? And why bother? Vanity? Stubborn refusal?...

Most Disturbing Things Overheard in Yoga Class

“I know this isn’t Bikram, but I’m stripping down to my undies anyway”! “Hey baby, wanna do some heavy breathing and downward facing dog for two later at my place?” “Fuck you, I want the spot in the middle of the room!” “I like that this company donates 50...

Unexpected Downsides to Going Back to School as an Adult

10. Profs won’t accept “the dog ate my homework” unless you can show that it’s a rescue dog. 9. History prof gets pissed off when you correct his version of events you were present at when he was in elementary school. 8. Hard to convince your prof to bang...

Celebrity Diets That Never Took Off

10. The Rosie O’Donnell Stick a Hot Dog in Your Vag, Not Your Mouth Diet 9. Listen To One Direction Til You Puke Yourself Thin 8. The Morrissey Mope And Munch Vegetarian Diet 7. Janeane Garafalo’s Seething Off the Pounds Diet 6. Clint Eastwood’s Empty Plate Diet 5. Ted...

A few changes God needs to get working on

10.  Calorie-free donuts. 9. Humans should jump as easily as kangaroos to reach things on the top shelves. 8. Diamonds are supposed to be cheap, cleaning products are supposed to be expensive. 7. Pizza delivery never results in as much sex as the porno movies imply. 6. Boring jobs...

How Canadian are you?

1. The national slogan of Canada is a. From Sea to Sea b. The Truth North Strong and Free c. Bring a two-four, eh? 2. Canada’s national pastime is a. hockey b. ice fishing c. bitching about taxes 3. Stephen Harper is a. The Prime Minister of Canada b....

Are you a typical Vancouverite?

1. Is shutting the Burrard Street Bridge down for a yoga event this month a. a fabulous way to promote healthy green lifestyles b. a major inconvenience to drivers c. not enough, man: we need to blow the bridge up and then people could, like, kayak to work instead...

Dear La Vie en Rose

Dear La Vie en Rose, Re: your email titled “Fathers Day Gifts He’ll Love!” No, I am not giving my father anything from your store, as you only sell women’s lingerie and he’s not the type to call himself Caitlyn.  And even if he did, isn’t that gift idea...