Unexpected Downsides to Going Back to School as an Adult

10. Profs won’t accept “the dog ate my homework” unless you can show that it’s a rescue dog.

9. History prof gets pissed off when you correct his version of events you were present at when he was in elementary school.

8. Hard to convince your prof to bang you for grades when you look just like the fat middle-aged wife he has at home.

7. You’d like to bang that cute coed but you work with her dad and know about his gun collection.

6. Can’t move back in with Mom and Dad to cut expenses as the nursing home has a strict “no kids” policy.

5. Hard to say “never trust anyone over 30” when you’re 47.

4. All the student activists get really sick of you pointing out how all your corporate management friends used to be hippies just like them.

3. The cool kids think you’re a narc and won’t invite you to their kegger.

2. Streaking the homecoming football game isn’t nearly as much fun once gravity takes over.

1. Your kids won’t give you the remote because “No TV til you’ve done your homework, Dad!”