Quiz: How green is your thumb?

1. The most popular plants grown in Vancouver gardens are
a. Roses
b. Strawberries
c. Purple kush

2. The best way to water your shrubs is
a. from the top with a sprinkler
b. from the bottom with a carefully placed hose
c. from your drunk boyfriend’s beer-filled bladder

3. Pruning should be done
a. when things are getting overgrown
b. every spring
c. when your 14 year old nephew wants to practise being a samurai with a real sword

4. The best fertilizer for your plants is
a. Miracle-Gro
b. compost
c. whatever your neighbor pukes onto them at 3:46 on a Saturday morning

5. The biggest hazard for your yard is
a. Weeds
b. Grubs
c. that cunt from down the block who never picks up after her poodle