East Van Retard du Jour #1

Parked on East 2nd across from the jam space.

Get honked and sworn at by some twat in a Car 2 Go: “Why you stopping?”

Look, cunt, I know you don’t drive much based on the fact that you’re in a Car 2 Go, but there’s this thing called parallel parking, and it’s perfectly legal here after 6pm. So how’s about you lay off the horn, take your meds, and shove that little Smart Car up your ass sideways, hmm?

You being delayed 30 seconds isn’t going to make any difference, there will still be plenty of tequila shots and ugly bearded hipster dudes for you to suck down at the Steel Toad.