A potential disclaimer for my upcoming web series

Maybe it’s just paranoia I got from my father earlier this week when I was showing him some of the “cast” for the web series I’m working on and he got all spazzed about that I could get sued by people, I dunno.

And I didn’t mention that my show spoofs the music biz, fandoms, rock stars, etc.; rather this was when I mentioned that I’d picked a Polish last name for the music journalist character one of my friends dubbed Ginger Babs: Ginger Babczak.

Ginger Babs, hard at work getting to the bottom of… I dunno, probably asking some retarded question about whether he feels the new album is authentic or some such bullshit.

So on that front I’m in the clear. It’s just a character name and the character is fake. But… I had been thinking that even though the show is clearly satire, a little disclaimer would be wise.

Which turned into a big long disclaimer, so I think I shall have it scroll up, Star Wars-style, at the beginning of each episode:

NOTE: THIS SHOW IS SATIRE. NOTHING IN THIS SHOW IS REAL.

THE “PEOPLE” APPEARING OR BEING MENTIONED IN THIS SHOW DO NOT EXIST AND DO NOT REPRESENT ANY KNOWN ACTUAL PEOPLE IN ANY KNOWN ACTUAL REALITY, EVEN IF YOU (MISTAKENLY) THINK THEY DO.

ANY CELEBRITIES MENTIONED OR APPEARING IN THIS SHOW ARE ENTIRELY FICTIONALIZED. BESIDES, HAS ANYONE ACTUALLY MET ANY OF THESE PEOPLE? THEY’RE PROBABLY ALL CGI ANYWAY… BUT IN ANY CASE, THEY DEFINITELY MOSTLY EXIST SOLELY AS FIGMENTS OF THEIR FANBASES’ COLLECTIVE IMAGINATIONS WITH NO RESEMBLANCE TO THE ACTUAL PEOPLE IN THE PAPARAZZI PICTURES.

THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS SHOW COME OUT OF THE EMPTY PLASTIC HEADS OF DOLLS AND SHOULD BE COMPLETELY DISREGARDED ACCORDINGLY.

DO NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH ANY CHARACTERS ON THE SHOW. THEY ALL HAVE V.D…. OR AT LEAST THE MAIN CHARACTERS DO. ESPECIALLY RICHARD AND NICK: DON’T EVEN BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS THOSE TWO.

NOBODY SHOULD WATCH THIS SHOW… ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE EASILY OFFENDED. EITHER WAY, DON’T WATCH. GO PLAY OUTSIDE.

THE CREATOR OF THIS SHOW IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGES OR INJURIES OCCURING SHOULD YOU TAKE HER ADVICE TO GO PLAY OUTSIDE, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: SLIP AND FALL, ROAD RAGE, RANDOM DRIVE-BY SHOOTINGS, HAYFEVER OR OTHER ALLERGIC REACTIONS, WEIGHT LOSS DUE TO UNPLANNED EXERCISE, BEING EATEN BY POLAR BEARS OR OTHER LARGE PREDATORS, SEEING FAT DUDES IN TINY SPEEDOS, EXPOSURE TO YOUR NEIGHBORS’ KIDS’ TERRIBLE MUSIC, BEING CRUSHED BY FALLING PUBLIC ART INSTALLATIONS, ANAL PROBING BY CURIOUS EXTRATERRESTRIALS…

(It will fade out as the potential hazards of the great outdoors continue to scroll, and I want the anal probing mention to be clearly readable, so I’ll probably add some other less important/funny hazards after that like sunstroke or whatever that are expendable under the fade-out before the credits come up.)

I think that about covers it all, and also gives some tone of the show and some hints of themes I intend to hit. I mean, one of the main themes of the show is fans being delusional along with their idols’ over-inflated self-worth.

And in terms of celebrities… I mean… it’s kinda true. Celebrities pretty much already are fictionalized versions of themselves. Satire just presents an alternative fictionalization.

But hey, the disclaimer might yet change, we’ll see.