Hypothetical Naked & Afraid Appearance

If I were somehow conned into going on that show Naked & Afraid, my to-do list would include:

  1. Find some flake-able rock like obsidian.
  2. Find a bigger rock to bash it with.
  3. Smash them together to get razor flakes.
  4. Hold razor flakes against the throat of cameraman who follows the action
  5. Force him to hand over his satellite phone and GPS.
  6. Call and make ransom demands.
  7. Escape.