Lego, Nick, and Hack Ideas

Back to the Saturday life update blogs… if only to procrastinate on cleaning the kitchen, lol…

So, some Lego updates. I got the Elvis art set a couple weeks ago and assembled it, then finally got the King hung up over the throne in the downstairs bathroom:

On a smaller scale, I also picked up the new Lego parrot:

Also, I’m working on a new episode of the Nick White Show. It was supposed to be the “Meet Jason Fisgard” interview to carry on that thread from the Nick and Pádraig interviews I did last year, and in fact there were something like 10 or 11 cast interviews in total that have some loose plot threads woven between them… basically everyone is an unreliable narrator but you can pick out enough based on what the general consensus is on a given character more so than what they say about themselves.

Only thing is, some of those are 15 or 20 pages of script… at about a minute of screentime per page… and it seems on average every minute of screentime takes 10 hours of production time… yikes.

And I have 8 or 9 left to do. And I was kinda wanting to get them all done and over with ASAP, actually they were all supposed to be done and posted last summer before I had voice issues for a few months.

And honestly I think it’s better to just carry on with short and punchy skits like January’s “Marriage Counselling” rather than the interviews series.

I debated alternating one skit and one interview but it’s lopsided because of the size of those interview scripts.

They’re also relatively boring to shoot because it’s two people sitting and talking.

But then there’s important info about the characters in them.

So….. what to do…

I think for now what I’ll do is just post the text on the website, attached to each character’s page under “Meet the Peasants.” This will probably still take a week due to formatting etc.

Maybe later I might have time to just record the audio to slap up on YT, which would take only 5-6 hours per interview… but meh… probably won’t even do that. We’ll see.

The new skit was supposed to be one for Joanne’s birthday, but that was postponed for reasons of breaking news. See, much as I swore to go at least another 2 episodes before having Nick whine about Bono again, U2 have been releasing some sort of “artistic collaboration” videos to go with the new boring acoustic “reimagined” Songs of Surrender album, and the one for “Sunday Bloody Sunday” had a female hack artist. Clips of such have started to get posted.

Well, let me look into my crystal ball… what is the most likely option for a woman artist to choose as her theme for a song of that title?

If you guessed “I dunno, something retarded about her period” then ding ding ding, you are right!

(BTW, not all woman artists, yadda yadda yadda… but so many that it’s its own cliche genre now, and this was no exception.

I ain’t posting the link, but if you want to point and laugh, go to YouTube and search for the short of U2 “Sunday Bloody Sunday” that was posted on their official channel recently and have at it. Last I looked, the comments weren’t going the way they hoped, but I’m sure some stans have probably shown up to fellate their egos since.)

It’s an idea so stale and stupid that only a pompous ass out of touch with reality could think it original and poignant, especially in 2023 when the art about your period theme was all fucked out and lame already in the 90s.

Bodily fluids in general is a basic bitch hack idea… from the guy who gives himself paint enemas then squats over a canvas to Piss Christ to the friendly chimpanzee at your local zoo flinging his shit at the viewing windows (at least in the latter case he’s probably making a heartfelt and authentic expression about how he feels about life in a cage being stared at by toddlers banging on the glass all day, which is a more valid complaint than “OMG, I got blood on my favorite panties and now I have to soak them to get the stains out!” as was the apparent message in the first shot of the new “Sunday Bloody Sunday” short video.)

Hell, GG Allin was shitting on stage in the ’80s and I don’t even think he was the first one.

And that was 40 fucking years ago.

Weirdly enough, Google search results still seem to think this sort of crap is daring and insightful:

Note that it keeps tossing out the “cliche” part of the search.
As usual, the truth is to be found in the comments, as in this old piece on Thought Catalogue… from 10 years ago… apparently our Irish friends are behind the times.

BTW, am I the only one to notice that the type of chick most likely to choose her twat as the the most interesting idea she could possibly make art about is also the type of chick most likely to screech about men objectifying women and only valuing her for that one thing? Well, toots, guess what? You literally signal with your artistic choices that the most interesting and valuable thing about you is your cooze and its oozings. (Valuable, somehow, despite there being only 3.5 billion human vaginas on the planet and God only knows how many across all known species.)

Why should men think otherwise… about you?

(Funnily enough, I never seem to run into that pesky “men are only interested in me for my vagina” problem… even when I was a ditzy 18 year old who looked like Barbie, that was never an issue. None of my female friends seem to report that issue either… of course we all have interests and hobbies outside of our nether regions and we get out of the house and do fun and interesting things and thus have, y’know, experiences outside of our vaginas to talk about with men.)

And yes, me and a friend were pondering which member of the band or their managerial staff greenlit this bullshit and what sort of “compensation” might have been involved. Then again, Bono has said in interviews that he tends to put women and their ideas on a pedestal, and clearly he knows very little about contemporary art cliches of the last 50-60 years or he’d’ve known this was a bullshit hack idea, so it could just be that he’s got his head up his ass and didn’t know how retarded this concept was. (Or was too chickenshit and cucked to say so if he did know.)

And don’t get me started on how offensive it is on a political level, to compare the discomfort of cramps and the inconvenience of having to do extra laundry with the original subject matter of the song, that of civilian protesters being FUCKING MURDERED by their own government.

(And since in the Current Year apparently people don’t do biology no more, let me explain something: I’m a woman in my 40s. That means I’ve had 35 years of experience with cramps, bleeding, and washing bloody stains out of panties. And I used to get quite severe cramps prior to my mid-30s. Even so, it’s not nearly the big deal some women like to whine that it is. Take a Midol and grow the fuck up.)

Anyway… Nick might not know much about art, and if you listen to his wife Joanne he doesn’t know nearly as much about the female anatomy as he likes to think, but he does know about bad music videos since that’s kinda his wheelhouse and thus there’s no way ol’ Nick White could let that one slide by… with some additional snark from his manager Zosime.

So, a script has been written and I will begin the audio this evening and hope to have it finished for next weekend.

In the meantime, let’s just say the working title of the script was “Nick’s Cum Sock” (because that’s the male equivalent) but of course I’ll go with something a little more tasteful for the final episode… and more insulting… LOL.

“Anything B can do, I can do dumber.”

And then U2 better stop making asses of themselves for a while because damn it, that Joanne’s birthday present episode is a great one and has already been rescheduled 4 or 5 times, and I’d like to get in another couple episodes after that before I return to Nick bitching about Bono again.

Speaking of Irish Jesus, the Bono Mouse sketchbook continues. Let’s pick one drawing from it done this week:

Is it still retarded? 100%. But at least it’s not “take a song about government murdering civilian protesters and make a video about washing your bloody panties” retarded.

Whatever, lol…

In other news, we seem to have turned the corner from snow season to monsoon season. Which is why I didn’t go outside to take pics of the snowdrops, crocuses, and irises emerging from under the melting snow to wrap up this week’s entry.