Things Overheard on the Seawall

10. “Uh-oh, I think that tea cleanse is kicking in… hang on, I’m just going to hang over the side and go…”
9. “That two-wheeled bike icon is so cis-wheeled-normative! What about all us unicycle riders, huh?”
8. “Did you see that woman pushing the stroller? She had the cutest little furbaby!”
7. “Ugh! Did you just call those ‘dragon boats’? That is so offensive! Did anyone ask the dragons if they wanted to be associated with boat people?”
6. “OMG, get outta here you filthy smoker! How are we supposed to enjoy our weed with your disgusting smoking around here?”
5. “Move motherfucker!”
4. “You know what the seawall needs? A Starbucks.”
3. “How old do you think that tree is?” “As old as your wife.”
2. “Don’t worry about the snarling, he’s a friendly pit bull!”
1. “Is this organic asphalt?”