I am so going to Hell when I die

Posted On March 17, 2015

Excerpt from a new stand up bit I just wrote:

…Johnny Thunders must have heard that and been pissed he didn’t think of that first.

“No, officer, I’m allowed to have those needles. I’m uh, diabetic, yeah.”

“Oh? Where’s your insulin?”

“Right here in this little baggie.”

“That looks like heroin to me.”

“No, no… It’s uh, it’s a new form of insulin. Black tar insulin. See, this way it keeps longer, and you don’t have to leave it in the fridge none.”